Anonymity is for Wusses

You’ve probably seen that cartoon of the dog at the keyboard with the caption, “On the Internet nobody knows you’re a dog.” If not, here it is.

I’m here this week to give all those dogs online who refuse to identify themselves a rap on their collective snout.

No, I’m not talking about less-than-beautiful people (example at left) who post personals with, shall we say, imaginative self-descriptions. I’m talking about Internet anonymity and accountability.

Earlier in the week I went online looking for information on a dermatologist I’d seen back in Reno. I needed the address and phone and fax numbers for his office so could get my medical records transferred to the health center here at USC.

I found the doctor all right, on a page of Citysearch, which is like Yelp or Yahoo Local, a directory of local businesses with user comments. But here’s something else I found: a user comment that began, “This is the worst customer service you could ever get.”

The entry went on to complain about the phone manners of the receptionists and the tone of voice, manners and attitude of the doctor. An “extremely unpleasant experience” is how the user summarized the visit. It was signed “anyasmdp,” whoever that is.

And that’s my point.

If you’re going to criticize someone by name, you should have the guts to give your name. But that’s not the convention on the Internet. Search the comments on blogs, news groups, reader forums, you’ll see almost nothing but aliases. Why?

I’m can see why you might want a handle like Krang the Karnivorous when you’re marauding around some virtual fighting world. Or if you’re engaging in some form of virtual infidelity, the motivation for adopting an alias is obvious. But what about everywhere else?

Back on the Citysearch site, just above the rant from “anyasmdp,” the doctor posted a response. Technically it was a second review (five stars). I know it was the doctor because she used her real name as her user name. Incidentally, this wasn’t my doctor but his wife, who shares the practice. Also, I clicked on “anyasmdp,” and the profile page it linked to didn’t provide any further identification.

The dermatologist wrote that she remembered the anonymous poster’s visit. She flatly denied the allegations and mentioned that the patient in question refused to pay to be seen.

Obviously I can’t tell who is right in this dispute. But the flame made me think of our friend Greg Markel, the search-engine-optimization expert, and his illustration of brand-reputation management on the Internet. If you recall, he described how important it was not only to have one’s name show up high in search engine results but that you don’t want negative comments to be the first thing the reader sees.

I wondered how much damage that anonymous Citysearch comment would do to the dermatologists’ practice. Probably not much. In the high desert of northern Nevada there’s enough skin cancer for an army of dermatologists, and Nevada has a severe shortage of physicians. But I also thought about how much it would cost to hire a Greg Markel to do his spider-charming if the situation were different.

Uh, yes, you in the back, waving your arm furiously...

“But what if the complaint is legitimate? Then the more hits the comment gets the better informed the public is about a bad doctor.”

I say the same comment could have been left but with integrity by signing it (warming: self-righteous statement coming down in 3, 2 . . .), which is why I always use my real name when I leave comments online.

It may not matter if you’re a dog online, but in most contexts it’s the responsible thing to wear your dog tag -- that is, identify yourself. That goes double if you plan on doing you-know-what on someone.