Keep teasing me, I like it

Forgive me for playing again. See if you can spot the point where I depart from reality. And yes, I do begin in that realm.

* * *

January 8

Hey, I got an e-mail from Reunion.com. Let’s see what they have to say.

Check it out! 5 Searches for Ed Cohen So Far! Is it a classmate? High-school crush? Best childhood friend? Former neighbor or long-lost family member? Find out who.

(Link clicked)

Become a Premium Member to see the 5 people searching for you. Get alerts when new people search for you. See who visits your profile. Email other Members. A 1-year Premium Membership is only $5 a month. Or choose a 3-month Premium Membership for $12 a month.

Just checking the fine print here…that $5 a month is for a year, paid in advance, or $60, and it’s nonrefundable. Same goes with the three-month membership, $36. No thanks. Anyone searching for me through Reunion.com can track me down some other way if they have half a brain. If they have less than that, I’d just as soon not hear from them.

January 15

From: Reunion.com Updates

Ed, Someone Visited Your Profile Last Week. Latest Visitors Include: a 50-year-old female living in Mentor, OH, who attended Brush High School. Be the Next Member to be Reunited with Someone!

That’s the right high school, close to my suburban Cleveland hometown, close to my age. What they don’t realize is I hated my high school and most of the people who went to it.

February 1

Ed, this Super Bowl Sunday, Get in the Game! Few of us will ever play in the Super Bowl, but you can score your own personal touchdown by reuniting with old friends and lost loved ones. Five people have viewed your profile in the past week. Find out who!

February 18

Ed, another three Members viewed your profile last week. At Reunion.com we Reunite thousands of people each week, but countless other Potential Connections are missed. Don’t be among The Missing. This could be the Opportunity of a Lifetime, a chance to establish a Vital Business Connection based on a Past Friendship, or you could get a Second Chance with an Old Flame. Become a Premium Member now!

March 4

Ed, you still haven’t become a Premium Member – what are you waiting for? Another six Members visited your profile page last week, including three women ages 25-30. Some of these women are Seriously Hot. You should see their Profile photos. Oh, but you can’t because you’re not a Premium Member. Become one today. It takes only a few seconds.

March 22

Ed, we have Potentially Life-Changing News for you: The 50-year-old female has posted pictures of her children, and one of them was born in the winter following your graduation and bears a striking resemblance to…you! What do you remember about that Party After Commencement? Do you have a Long-Lost Son? Check out the Extensive Visual Evidence today and begin to prepare your defense for an Eventual Paternity Suit. It all starts when you become a Premium Member.

April 10

Ed, being a writer-editor (professional), you know about the Pulitzer Prizes and the Peabody Awards. But did you know that you’ve won one of these awards? It’s been known to happen that Pulitzers, Peabodys and free-beverage prizes in the Monopoly game at McDonald’s go unclaimed because the winners aren’t aware that they’ve won. Make it easy for the Selection Committee to find you through Reunion.com by claiming your Premium Membership now.

September 20, 2024, Cortex-Direct Transmission to Citizen 499211934~439d989#kj&1

499211934~439d989#kj&1, as you know the 2008 class of the Annenberg Program in Online Communities has been called the Greatest Generation of Online Innovators in the history of the Chinese United States Republic. Earlier this week Reunion.brain announced an agreement with Gapplezon to recognize the Outstanding Media Innovator of the first quarter of the 21^st century with a Gapplezon I-Life Extension Module. You could be that innovator who gets to live 10, 20 and possibly even 30 minutes beyond the Federal Age Limit. To be considered for this honor all you need to do is activate your Premium....